In 2015 I wanted to allow myself to become more vulnerable with others.
For one reason or another I found I had become a naturally guarded person, with interest and intent in other people’s lives - as long as nobody could truly get to know me. I was very concerned with feeling safe and accepted with someone so that I could truly let my guard down.
Suddenly, I didn't feel comfortable with being the kind of person who only opened up if I felt very secure with a chosen few - that felt more like counselling, not a relationship. It didn't seem healthy to me that others could freely open up but my actual thoughts would remain a closely guarded secret, and it was becoming lonely.
I'm glad I tried being more vulnerable with others in 2015. I learnt through sharing my vulnerabilities with others - admitting imperfections, concerns, dreams and ambitions - that other people warmed to sharing, and in turn shared their own stories.
It was a bit scary but I needed to confront the idea that I had to hide my truest, softest, squishiest self from people. I realised I had no real reason to hide at all, it was all a mirage! Nobody was shocked, offended or freaked out by it. Okay, so sometimes it hurts a little bit more now when I'm let down or I show my vulnerability to someone and it's misunderstood. But we've all heard that phrase, ‘It’s better to have loved and lost…’ and I'm a firm believer in giving it everything, rather than wondering what could have been.